This What I really Want for Mother Day

Let me start by saying that I am grateful for the attention on mother's day, as well as any other day. But I would like to take this opportunity to warn my husband that if he chooses to get me a mother's day gift, if I cannot wear it, it is not really a gift.  Neither are sets of knifes, nor a new snow shovel nor a vacuum cleaner, or other so-called gifts that he thinks might make my work easier.What I would really like to have for mother's day is a different kind of mammogram machine.  The reason is that, as we know, after women reach a certain age, gravity takes over.  It matters little that I spend a whole year doing push-ups, or other exhausting exercises to firm up.  What matters is that when it's time for my annual mammogram, none of it matters when the nurse flattens the breasts on flat table with another, similar torture device under the breast and squeezes.    By the end of the mammogram, whatever I got for all the exercises I've done has now disappeared.   If men had to go through the same steps to check their family jewels, I have no doubt that there would be a new, painless machine in hospitals all over the country Yesterday.Another gift I would like to get, is an adjustable mirror, much like an adjustable telescope. Because our eyesight declines with age, I find that I am required to put on my reading glasses to put on makeup, which is most uncomfortable both before and after putting on eye shadow, to say nothing about moving backward and forward to make the reading glasses operate more effectively.Last, I really don't like to go out to eat on mother's day.  I don't want to get dressed, put make-up and take care of the kids.  I do that everyday.  On my day, I would like my husband to let me sleep while he takes our daughter to lunch and then a movie. As for me, I like to stay in my PJs, eating both what and whenever I like along with watching any movie that requires no brain cells.Happy Mother's Day to all moms who are reading this.  May your fantasy comes true.